Another challenge overcome.

I passed my QTS tests *celebration dancing here*

For some this might seem like a small victory... but for me, Literacy tests are my biggest challenge.
It took a hell of a lot of revision and two attempts, but now passing my degree is the only thing standing in my way of studying to become a teacher!

It has been a long road to get to this point...
I took my GCSE English four times.
Fought my way through A-Levels.
Applied to the University of Gloucestershire and got a place in halls...
Before changing my mind at the very last minute and choosing to study in Bristol and stay at home.
From there I have gone on to graduate from my foundation degree and continue my studies at Bath Spa.

If there is one thing that people ask me when they find out that I stayed at home to do uni its "do you not feel like you missed out on the lifestyle?"
My answer to this is simple... whist I didn't go out clubbing every night or have the opportunity to live with other students I had and continue to have the support I need to succeed and as a result have overcome all the challenges that university has brought with it... something I'm not sure I would be able to say if I had left home.

As I said the next challenge is going to be passing my degree. Currently I am getting the best results that I have ever achieved whilst at university and am currently on track to graduate with a 2:1... if I can keep it up!
I suppose in order to pass my degree I should probably quit procrastinating and get on with the  my case study assignment that is due at the end of the month and my dissertation as the deadline looms every closer.

Just me,
Em x

Time to panic.

The deadlines are looming closer...
I've still got a mountain of work todo and since I am trying my hardest to be early for everything this year (including deadlines) its becoming increasingly harder to not panic!
Before Christmas I was on fire with this whole university thing, all my key readings were done, my assignments were all in at least two full days before the deadline and one was even handed in over a week prior to the deadline... I know?!?! Keen right??
But... Christmas as mucked it all up for me!
I can't seem to sit and write any more than 500 words in a day, and that is a massive struggle just to keep myself concentrated for that long!!

Sitting at home three or four days a week sounds all well and good until you actually think that whilst you have no physical, leave the house sort of plans you still have to get up, showered and dressed at a reasonable time to ensure that your work gets done...
Anyone who knows how much I sleep and how much I love my bed will know how much of a struggle this is for me.
Right now... I've managed to get out of bed, and do some work but i'm still working on the dressed and showered part (Just for future reference it is currently 11:43am).
Its still the morning though technically.... and I've done a good hour and a half of solid work... so that totally makes up for the fact I'm still sitting in my pj's right??

As it stands my todo list is as long as my arm and most of it is on going work like studying and writing / researching for my dissertation (That's due in two months *shock horror*).
I have put off work for long enough so right now... from this moment (the moment I finish typing this rubbish anyway) I shall be to the ball again... my work will get done and I will do a whole week of all nighters if that's what it takes! *insert determined fist pump here*

The time to panic is HERE!?!?

Soo.... I have successfully procrastinated for a good ten minutes.... should probably get my arse in gear, after lunch! *wink*

just me,
Em x

I should be writing my dissertation.

That's true, I should be writing my dissertation... but I thought I would have a ramble on here instead.
So...
To fill you in, in the last two weeks I have had an interview for PGCE (or teacher training for anyone who doesn't know) and got offered a place, got the offer of an interview for my second choice of PGCE (more on that later), lost my brain, had a lovely Christmas and hopefully found my brain again.

(other than the fact that both time I meant to write "brain" I actually wrote "brian" and had to go back and change it *facepalm*)

So now you're all up to date....

PGCE-
I want to be a teacher... a primary teacher, specialising in special educational needs so that I can support students just like myself to never give up on their dreams. I mean... If I can do it, then anyone can!
My first choice is to do the standard primary PGCE (5-7 year olds) at Bath Spa with a specialism in special educational needs. As I said earlier i've had my interview and been offered a place (if I can pass the skills tests and get a 2:2 at uni this year) but... being me, I always like to have a backup plan.
Sooo... my second choice was to do a school direct learning program which is basically like a teacher training apprenticeship, I got offered an interview which I was originally over the moon about. When I read through the "Well done we like you" email that they send out after offering you an interview, I realised that by accepting and having an interview, when id already been offered a place on the course I wanted to do, I would be taking that opportunity away from someone else. Now I know that it shouldn't matter and its every man for himself or whatever... but I felt bad! I know that if they offered me a place the conditions of the offer would be the same as my first choice meaning that if I didn't meet the conditions I wouldn't be able to go to either any way. I also knew that if I got offered a place and met the requirements I was always going to choose the other course. So I turned it down... I said thankyou for the opportunity but id like someone else to have it.
Surprisingly, im not at all fussed, usually not having a back up plan or making big decisions like that panics me... but I'm fine and I hope that whoever they offer that opportunity to grabs it with both hands!

Brain (again with the "brian" I don't even know a brian!)-
Over the Christmas period my plan was to have my literature review (the reading books and writing what they say thingy) of my dissertation done...
Now I know I am one for setting un realistic goals and expectations for myself and beating myself up when I cant reach them, but I figured I could definitely write 2500 words in the three weeks I had off for Christmas...
Well... clearly not!
At the beginning of the holiday I spent two straight days staring at my computer screen in a nest of books, writing no more than 200 words a day! just to put it into perspective... usually I can crack out at least 800 words in a day but my brain seemed to just run away with its self and decided not to play ball!
Today however I sat down in front of my computer and cracked out 500 words in an hour... then I went for lunch and now im writing this... but still... I feel like that a vast improvement and Im hoping its an indicator that my brain has finally returned from its Christmas vacation *Cheers and woops*.
pppppppsssssssssstttttttt. *Whispers* didn't write brian that time *wink*

anywhoooooo.... I suppose i'm done and should get back to writing this dissertation rather than rambling away! Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas with their loved ones!

Just me,
Em x

Im on top of everything.

Shock!?!
Believe it or not I am on top of everything!!
My room is spotless, to the point where I have actually made my bed for three days in a row...
That is a new record for me!
Not only that but I am half way through an 1,000 word essay that is not due for another two weeks. This time last year two weeks would be the time I would use for one of the 4,000 word monster essays, but now I am an organised grown up I have more than enough time to get it done MAYBE even start the next one in the mean time.

I say maybe because i'm not sure how long all this organisation stuff is going to last *wink*

In all seriousness though...
I have been on time to uni;
Done all the readings and made notes; 
Picked up my towel after every shower;
Used my washing basket instead of the floor;
not to mention
Starting essays early!

Jeez I am seriously hoping I can keep this up and become one of those people that always has plenty of time to do things because they are so organised and on the ball! I want to be the really annoying one who's like "Oh you know that essay due in may? yeah I did it last week".... well... that's a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean right?
If I can keep this up the stress of upcoming deadlines might just not phase me and I could hand it in the day before and have a leisurely morning getting ready to leave on deadline day! Instead of the blind panic of filling in the front sheet and printing off before leaving *face palm*.

I am so on top of things I am even starting to think about Christmas presents... I know its still November, but if I get them early I can just hide them away and not have to panic or try and shop through the ciaos of town in December right?
Plus Christmas is my favourite time of year so im sort of excited already... if I could get a Christmas tree and decorate the house all Christmassy tomorrow I most definitely would, no question about it!

So... yet more waffling has been done... but I am currently winning at life so I thought I would fill you in!

Just me,
Em x  

Doing nothing.

It's so easy to do nothing.
To sit in bed and pretend that you're being productive, like I am as I am writing this.
I know that I should be continuing to clear out my room. So I finally have a reasonable amount of stuff to fit into such a small space. Instead though I have been scrolling through the online shops and Facebook to learn that someone I haven't spoken to in over six years is now engaged to someone I didn't even know they were with.

Now I know that I'm doing nothing and I'm not doing anything about it, In fact by doing nothing I have decided that if I write a blog post about me doing nothing, I can do nothing for a little longer.
Did you get that?
In fairness this is my first real day off where I don't have anything really important to be doing since like three weeks ago, so why can't I just do nothing?
I shall tell you why, because mum is working from home today and will continue to "remind" me that it's not yet done and that I should probably be getting on with it.

I am the sort of person where if I want to get something done I will stay up and will not give up until it's complete. On the other hand if I don't want to do it I will put it off for as long as possible and try to pretend it's not there.
This drives my friends insane I'm sure.
I hate to let people down so if someone needs me to do something I will often put that before what I was meant to be doing. Which is what keeps happening with my bedroom, although I don't want to do that, so any other option is always a better one.

In terms of today, I have taken the dog out for a nice long walk in the rain and had lunch. That was more than I'd planned so you could call that a success. Starting next week (procrastinating just a little longer) I am going to try and make every day that I have off until I go back to uni in September as productive as possible. I will try to make a list of  all the jobs that I need to do during the day to help me stay organised and on track. I love a good list, always makes me more productive as I just want to tick everything off. That really sad I know...
What can I say, lists are exciting things!

So from writing this blog post, you've gained nothing and I did nothing for an extra fifteen minutes of my day. You now know (if you didn't before) that I like lists and that I have people on Facebook that I haven't spoken to in years but still like to occasional stalk (not in a weird way I swear). Not to mention you now know that I am seriously good at doing nothing.
As it promises in my header, this is just my ramblings and my moany rubbish, enjoy.


Just me,
Em x

Becoming an adult.

That's it... First two years of uni over.
I passed every module and assignment and will be graduating in November.
It's fair to say all the hard work was worth it and I can now wave my results in the face of anyone who didn't believe I could do it!
I have had many a break down and almost given up, but next year I am off to Bath Spa to complete my degree and hopefully go on to be a teacher.

Over the summer I have balanced many responsibilies and really haven't spent that much time just doing nothing or getting around to cleaning my room (that I promised would be done about two months ago) oops.
In the accasional day that I don't spend either with my godson, babysitting, at work or with friends I have thought a lot about being an adult.
How crazy is it to think that at my age my parents were about to get married and owned their own home, whilst I'm still here living with my parents and getting drunk at the weekends.
I could not imagine even thinking about getting married right now (even if I did have a bf), I don't feel grown up enough to even move out just yet let alone get married!
There are still people that do get married young and good luck to them seriously... Spending everyday with someone up in your grill all the time! No thankyou....

Now a days there is so much pressure on children as young as 10 to act "grown up".
They should still be having a melt down when their mum says they can't have a sleepover on a school night, or that they are not alowed to be out playing in the park when the street lights come on. Now children have phones, social media and don't want to go out to play with their friends because they can just FaceTime them or talk to them on the Xbox. When I was young going to call on my friends and playing in the street with footballs, scooters, dolls and having water fights with the other children in our street were some of my favourite things to do during the summer. I would love to go back to then when my biggest responsibility was feeding my hamster, that if I forgot mum would do anyway...

I cannot get my head around the fact that (if my current plan works out) I will be a fully qualified teacher in 2 years time. I will be responsible for teaching the next generation how to read, write and be decent human beings. Hopefully by then I will have moved out and will be completely independent. Is it bad to wish that I could just fast forward to being a "real adult", that drinks wine with dinner, pays bills (no mum that does not mean I want to start paying rent) and goes to work?

When your young you often have an ideal (yet unrealistic) scenario for your life. I know I did.
I thought that by the time I was 22 I would have a job, a family and my own life. Although at that point I thought 22 was "really old" so it's fair to say that my scenario was definately unrealistic and I'm glad it didn't work out that way. I'm having fun being young and selfish, doing things for me and only having to worry about the few responsibilies I have on a day to day basis. I believe that life is to be lived and your choices will determined where you end up in life. I don't plan ahead, I could change my mind tomorrow about going to uni and decide that I'd rather work in retail or move to antartica for the rest of my life. Although... Probably not because I like my mums cooking to much *wink*

Just me,
Em x

Being an adult and embarrassment.

Today I was an adult... And voted for the first time, it was an "I know nothing but an app told me to vote this one so that one it is" style vote which to be honest seems pointless.
I know nothing about politics... Like nothing at all!
So why should I vote?
Women fought for me to be able to vote today, of course I'm grateful for the option but I think why vote if you don't have a leading opinion?
I don't moan about the government and I don't know what's best...
Surely it is better to have 10 well informed and fully back votes than 1000 badly informed or random votes?
I don't understand how the importance has become on the fact you vote and don't waste the opportunity though surely not knowing anything and choosing randomly is just as much of a waste?
Well... Perosnally I will not be voting next year if I do not believe or follow one of the parties policies, I don't see the point... I'd rather save my vote and develop a true opinion.
On another note... I embarrassed myself today... To be fair I embarrass myself most days but I thought I'd share...
This morning around 10am i was leading an activity with the children in my placement where they had to create number sentences in play dough....
Playdough I have decided is the devil!!
At some point during the activity I must have lent in the salty grossness making it stick to my cardigan.... Not a small amount either... Like a full on blob!
This play dough arm leach must have clung to my arm all day and was only noticed as I was going to vote at 8pm!
Sooo today ladies and gents I have walked around with a large blob of play dough stuck to my arm in plain view of just about everyone for a total of 10 hours!! AND NOBOBY TOLD ME!!
I must have looked like a complete numpty with a big white blob stuck to my black... Yes black cardigan...
-.-
Crinnggggeeeee
If you take anything from this let it be that, if you see someone with a blob of something or something embarrassing like their flys being undone. Tell them! The embarrassment you cause is nothing compared to he embarrassment of that person when they finally realise and have a mental recap of all the people who would have seen it throughout the day!!
Over and out *wink*
Just me,
Em x